the only constant is shopping. everyday we shop shop shop and the irony of it all is that this is an FAS trip. we should stay away from the night market like seriously we go there every night. Even after we switched hotels we still go there every night. sure, there are good, bargains, but we should stop. I'm left with 80 baht after ytd(in which I spent around 600 baht) which is equivalent to 3+ sing dollars. sucks TTM.

lol I think we are getting a thai massage tonight. but damn ex, and I'm again, BROKE. die I shouldn't have spent so much. like hell instead of going to macs for lunch i went to a jap restaurant. aiyoyoyoyoyoyoyo.

I got no money for activities today, including hot spring and elephants. hot springs=50 baht, elephant=600 baht.
mrs lim sucks for telling us we only needed $50 it's bloody not enough. like hell even that time we went vietnam we brought $100 at least. hahahahahahaha now i'm broke...in thailand.

YOZ HANIS IS BESIDE ME. YAYAY.
OMG TODAY WE FOLLOWED MRS LIM KIM CHOO AROUND THE WHOLE OF SOUTHEAST ASIA, OR AT LEAST THAT'S HOW IT FELT LIKE=)
OH WE VISITED LOTS OF HANDICRAFT CENTRES AND I SPENT MORE MONEY THAN I EVER DID IN ONE DAY. WHICH IS AROUND 400 BAHT. SUCKS MAN.
now Dini is beside me. ok you know what i spent even more last night,and i'm going broke. mrs lim talks a lot...but most of it is common sense i suppose! the com in this new hotel is much better but the rooms are creepy!!!!!!!!!!!! like wth there are mirrors everywhere.
oh yes if you are a close friend and you are reading this blog do know that i've bought a present for you. special requests(like for food) are fufilled! so yup yup coming back on friday, i'll see if i can post tmr as well.
tata!

YOZ HANIS IS BESIDE ME. YAYAY.
OMG TODAY WE FOLLOWED MRS LIM KIM CHOO AROUND THE WHOLE OF SOUTHEAST ASIA, OR AT LEAST THAT'S HOW IT FELT LIKE=)
OH WE VISITED LOTS OF HANDICRAFT CENTRES AND I SPENT MORE MONEY THAN I EVER DID IN ONE DAY. WHICH IS AROUND 400 BAHT. SUCKS MAN.

this is frightening.
i sleepwalk!
omg i was so terrified i went to google "reasons for sleepwalking".
reasons were stress, fever, psychological disorders and genetic reasons.
wow.
must be the stress.
hmm.
i realised that when i slept with my table messy and waking up with it neat. and put in the places that only i do.
my family didn't do it. i asked. so it must have have been me.
which is terrifying.

thanks to procrastination i cannot study. no matter how hard i force myself to sit at that table and stare, i keep telling myself, there's still time, i can do it some other day. like what i'm doing now. convincing myself that i don't have to study, that i still have two weeks, i'm smart enough to pass everything, i'm still sec3, not sec4, blah blah.
tons of excuses and i'm still blogging.
there's a mock paper tmr and i bet all my money i'll fail. cos i'm still blogging right now.
this is terrible.
i told nicole and vanessa to call me at 7 to scream at me but they forgot.
as always yea.
went to nicole's church today and my phone screwed up while we were studying in that super quiet room.
i freaked man.
wth it was like i couldn't hear my mum's voice over the phone even though the call was through, and cos she called me, and i called her, and we both couldn't hear anything, i ended up smacking my phone like it was a naughty boy HAHA.
and i also took $2 off my prepaid card.
i want a plan. even if it only has 100 free smses cos i am so sick of trying to save and save and save, to use $15 over two months.
right.
i should stop.
but i can't, you see.
i'm a procrastinator. 

omg i can finally access some website on the school com. so slow!
hahahaha i just realised someone i know likes to act smart. he uses bombastic words wrongly lol.
well, he's short haha.
hmm i think that i will pass my eoys after all, if i start working hard now. but i'm not working hard now. what am i doing? come everybody say "BLOGGING!!!" actually slacking is also part of it but i'm taking this as warm up for my guzheng practice later..got stiff fingers after writing that bloody long essay...
OMG NOT FAIR YUN YI GOT INTO FACEBOOK! 

 ok so, there's not a happy thing on my blog is there? well obviously since there's nothing remotely happy in my life.
except for the trigo part. oh yes i realised the best way to learn typing is to type in the dark cos i really cannot see my keyboard at all.
haiyo.
you know, i think i will stop teasing or speaking ill of emo people from now on..especially those that self-harm. i realised what a relief it can be.  call me sick in the head but it's really true: self-inflicted pain can bring you release.
not joking, for once.
vanessa i would appreciate it if you don't care about me this time though i may sound more worrying than before.
nicole and the others too ya.
i really need some alone time.

 You call this a holiday? ok yea, yea i know, cliche, no one IS holidaying.
STILL.
I understood trigo today!!!!!!!
omg not the further trigo part but ooh lala i can do math drills! ain't that just awesome
oh yes, i tried the infamous mentos soda geyser.. got a big great scolding, but i was bored to death. really.
so! everything in the previous entry has passed, and i really love DFAC, except for those blood-sucking parasites called mosquitoes. I think mosquitoes should be lawyers. all they need is a briefcase each..
got no one to joke with, now that i can't bring myself to talk to AHEM.
vanessa probably is mugging, nicole may still be overseas. so i feel..alone?
woo.

omg i'm so totally packed for the entire week.
rally, proposal, church, proposal, study, compulsory concert. and that's just for today and tomorrow! die...............

 well it's just so hard to do!
how do i try to understand trigo?
and i'm not exactly getting much help anywhere either. i want to die.
swear, swear.
stop procrastinating.
punch mini-anne.
play guzheng.
off the com.
i don't know, i just feel so lost.

ok so i'm making use of my school's computer and it's lagging like don't know what.
alamak ytd the refreshers were terrible! i left early at 1810 and i was dead tired, muscle aches all over and injured hip! bloody hell that is a totally dangerous game ok. my hair totally screwed also. lol today I made my IC!!:) haha forgot about it until yesterday then we were rushing to take a photo! haha but it's good, cos i managed to get a nicw photo of myself. the fingerprint black thing is still sticking onto my fingersm and i made my file a whole fingerprint collage. deb's must have been photoshopped, her skin where got so good lor lol. nicole looks weird in her photo but she looks even weirder now!!!!!!!! BALD MAN. hahaha. and i sit beside nicole so her hair is very distracting. very ticklish also. can go and be a bung already(bung ar, nicole, not bang).
 eugenia says that nothing was detected, but that is hardly good news, cos the doctor said that it's still abnormal, so she must go through another series of more AHEM tests which she doesn't want to go through. that is just weird, cos i'd make sure the thing is detected first. but i suppose it is rather awkward and traumatising.

still feeling sore over the weekend's happenings, i just feel very detached from whatever i'm doing now. just suddenly don't get the point of doing stupid trigo after trigo, and having to quarrel withmr khoo and ms poon over whether to go for a paid recee or to go for a much needed math remedial to prepare for exam. what's the point, people, what's the point?

there's a rally this saturday, a concert on sunday, i have tofetch my brother to piano class, choose people for COALs '09, and all this bloody things. exam is in 3 WEEKS and i'm more busy than ever. i may fail the entire end-years, cos i cannot understand anything the teachers taught since the start of term 3. i think it's because the MYE results were too depressing for me to try again. no matter how much i study i still end up doing badly and getting one of the worst scores in the level. so much for wanting to be the top 100. i'm wondering if there was a typo error in the sec one report book. how could i have gotten 77? i was like above aerilynn??

depressed doesn't begin to describe how i'm feeling now. what was that word again? FAEI something.
listening to andrew lloyd webber songs are good. they help a lot with the mood and stuff. not like nicole's songs tyvm.

haha ANDREW lloyd webber. i just saw that:)

 HAHA TO TELL THE TRUTH IS SO NICE. 
BUT TO LIE...IT HAS IT'S OWN EXCITING PARTS AS WELL I SUPPOSE.
thanks VANESSA AND DEBORAH. You rock man. really have to thank you for your advice and support, haha deborah yours was seriously crude lol. Damn practical and down-to-earth. NICOLE PHUA YOU HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR COUNSELLING SKILLS. YOU DON'T LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH when people tell you they want to die. No matter how bad your sense of humour is, you don't think that depression is comical. But the laughing helped me lah, your high pitched squeaks over the phone are really distracting.

thanks ANDREW. for just making things a whole lot better(: you rock dude. thanks for forgiving me also. =D

today i went out with eugenia(without permission again) and it happens that she is awaiting a medical report. hope that all who read this will pray for her.. ok she's my best friend in cedar until she left for NJ, so naturally i'm worried about her. ok she apparently had unnatural internal bleeding and a lump around the pelvic area(not quite sure) and the doc said there's achance of cervical cancer..i'm really worried for her sia, and i hate to think how she is right now..JY EUGENIA! nice to have seen you today and AHEM! and STRIPED PERSON! hahaha

there's instructors' refreshers tomorrow from 8am to 6.30pm and it's going to be totally torturous. non-stop revision and taking notes and repeat of camp procedures. DIE. wonder if mp is going to be there? or going to enjoy her one day break(: lousy sheet, this. take away my holiday. i want to study one sia.

OMG TODAY WAS TEACHER'S DAY! haha just added to my conviction of becoming a teacher yeah! mdm faridah and ms poon both won the awards i voted them for! unfortunately mr ang had the honour of winning two awards and the most dedicated award for the third year running. like yu wei and deb i don't think he's worth it... hah but quite funny, DAMN FUNNIE today yeah. starbucks!

OMG SEL IS FINALLY OVER
for the time being at least.
for now i don't have to worry about the alignment and stuff. 
omg tomorrow is sports day
and i'm terrified for all the things that are to come after it.
and it itself.
oh God I don't even understand what this feeling is called.
maybe i should invent a new word for it. it's excitement, fear, anxiety, insecurity, anticipation, dread all at the same time. I fi combine the initials i get EFAIAD. FAEDIA?
maybe. haiyo i just feel so damn detached from everything.

posting for no real reason.
watched bougae cheer in action today. not bad.
but garde will own, cos we are so much better la prz. and lee is on our side.
haha.
natasha thinks that the SA primary boy is cute and she told me to ask him why he asked me those two questions the other day. i also want to find out, but i'll look weird, and he looks pretty shy...(DON'T SAY ANYTHING, ANDREW, DON;T SAY ANYTHING)
haha
prayer's starting in 2minutes and  i'm blogging under the cover of sel. and fear of ms poon.
so..
have to go soon.
tired, so tired.